Monday, May 22, 2006

San Francischronicles, Chapter ∞ .

On the last day of our trip, my camera was dying a slow and painful death. You see, I didn't bring the charger with us, because the charger is also a photo printer, and would have been quite a nuisance to lug around with us the entire time, not to mention the very likely possibility that I would drop and break it at any given point. So, we called Radio Shack to see if they had a charger for my particular model of camera. Of course they did- for only $50! When we got to Radio Shack, I explained to the young man working behind the counter the situation- we were only gonna be in town one more day, and just needed enough of a charge to make it home. I also played it real cool with the kid- let him know I was down. 'You into online gaming? Hell, I'm a 35th level Orc (I really hope I spelled that right.). You into weed? Fuck, let's get high, man! You into social activism? Shit, man, I'll form a picket line behind an "End Road Work" sign! Let's be pals!'

My ultimate coolness and Rebecca's friendly charm (pronounced: cleavage) eventually worked on the kid, who at first denied us due to his unfriendly, old, and uncool boss, but soon he said, "What the hell- I'll do it." Then- a problem. Turns out he didn't really have a charger for my particular model of camera. Turns out they're special order only. So much so, in fact, that not one Radio Shack in the whole of San Francisco had one. Then, an idea occurred to me. About technology. This is never a good sign, and yet I trusted myself again for some reason. I suppose I was simply in an affable mood.

"It says here that this just needs a 5 volt D/C cable. Don't you just have, like, a generic 5 volt plug we could use? That seems like it would work..." The Kid didn't seem too disagreeable with my idea, and so it was done. I knew it would take a while, so I told the Kid that we were going to eat, and we'd be back in about an hour or so to pick up the camera. The Kid said, "Word," we gave each other daps, and I moonwalked right the fuck outta there.

Upon our return from eating at The Yellow Submarine, The Kid played it cool, real cool, as we walked in. "Can I help you guys with anything?" Gulp. "Um...," I said, instantly betraying myself as so not down. We must've looked uncomfortable, because the next thing he said was, "...Or do you just want the camera back?" An audible sigh of relief crossed my lips, and soon he was behind the counter retrieving the camera. "Sweet," I said as he handed it to me. "Now to check the battery.. Huh. That's odd. It actually has less power than when we gave it to you."

The Kid shrugged, bored now with his act of rebellion. I knew it was over. The camera wouldn't even stay on long enough to snap one picture. It clicked on, flashed its red "battery drained- don't even think about it" icon and immediately turned itself right back off.

We walked out of the store, utterly dejected. The Era of Photographs had come to an end for this trip.

Or so we thought!

Now, dear reader, through the ironic use of the very technology that had so recently scorned us, YOU CAN STILL SEE PHOTOGRAPHS FROM THE REST OF OUR TRIP!

REAL PHOTOGRAPHS AWAIT!





DRIVING DOWN HWY 101 IN OUR RENTED DODGE NEON TO HALF MOON BAY!!


OUR FABULOUS HOTEL ROOM AT COMFORT INN IN HALF MOON BAY! THANK YOU, DEB!
PERCHED PRECARIOUSLY CLOSE TO THE EDGE OF A BREATHTAKING CLIFF AT HALF MOON BAY!

THIS COUPLE SENT ME A COPY OF THIS PHOTOGRAPH TAKEN AT A BEACH IN HALF MOON BAY! THEY UNDERSTOOD OUR DILEMMA, AND EVEN THOUGH THEY SPOKE VERY LITTLE ENGLISH, THE INTERNATIONAL LANGUAGE OF PHOTOGRAPHY WAS OUR BOND, AND THEY WERE MORE THAN HAPPY TO LET US SHARE A FRAME WITH THEM!



THEN WE WENT TO THE REAL MOON!!

4 comments:

Allie D. said...

You guys really shouldn't drive smashed up against the dash that way. It might make you lose control of the vehicle.

Oh wait!! Oh GOD! You're driving in the wrong lane!!! Look ouuuuuuuuuuuttttt!

Anonymous said...

you reall know how to waste a dudes time

Anonymous said...

I just wrote a post that will come up in the next week or so about photoshopping contests. You should enter.
My first time to visit.
Cheers from MotherPie.

Jonathan said...

MotherPie-

You left no link to yourself. How do you expect me to enter your photoshopping contest?!