The distributor sent us the wrong boxes last week. He said it was because they were out of the blank white ones, but it was probably really because my boss is somewhat of a blowhard, and the guy was sick of his shit. So we got this:
As if that wasn't awesome enough, one side of the box says this:
And one side says this:
And, lest we forget who we're referring to, the third side has this to say:
How does the distributor get the freedom, the wherewithal to send to a restaurant, that may or may not have political leanings, these patriotic boxes? How is it that we must stand by, and not only accept, but use these cardboard rectangular pieces of propaganda? How can it be that my boss, while maintaining the status quo of the American Dream by owning and running a successful small business, be overtly opposed to this message of nationalism, if only because it interferes with his blank canvas to paste coupons for Tuesday night on the top of the boxes, and still do nothing about it? I couldn't begin to surmise the answer. Imagine my shame when I had to hand people this box. Imagine my greater shame when their eyes lit up in recognition of someone, or some business, that feels the same way they do- that their country is the BEST! "And that's really such a rare feeling, these days especially."
How does this happen? What happens in life that makes it possible, and profitable even!, to print these boxes, these boxes that house nothing but what later turns into shit, yes, actual human feces, and nothing is said about it? How the fuck did they do it? I found my answer later, when I opened the pizza I brought home and looked at the inside flaps of the box: