Friday, December 09, 2005

At least they had something to cook with. All we get is brain cancer.

Cell phone Customer #1- So, yeah, of COURSE I was, like, NO, I'd never fucking do th- hello? Buddy? You there? Buddy?

Cell phone customer #2- Do what? Hello?

Cell phone Customer #1- Hey. HEY. CAN YOU HEAR ME?

Cell phone customer #2- You'd never do what? Hello?

Cell phone Customer #1- HELLOICAN'THEARYOU. CAN YOU HEAR ME? IF YOU CAN HEAR ME, I CAN'T HEAR YOU. CALL ME BACK. GOODBYE.

Cell phone customer #2- Hey. I can't hear you. Call me back. Oh- hello? Hello? Y'there? Aw, fuck- *click*

Cell phone Customer #1- He- ..oh. *click*

FIVE MINUTES LATER

Cell phone customer #2- Hello? Can you hear me?

Cell phone Customer #1- THERE you are. What happened?!

Cell phone customer #2- What do you mean? What happened to you?!

Cell phone Customer #1- Nothing! Your phone just cut out in the middle of my story!

Cell phone customer #2- Not mine! I could hear you just fine, saying hello and stuff.

Cell phone Customer #1- I could hear you too! It wasn't my phone, I had five bars.

Cell phone customer #2-Me too. I had SIX.

Cell phone Customer #1- Oh,wait... So did I. I just always forget to count the littlest one, 'cause it's always there.

Cell phone customer #2- Yeah.

Cell phone Customer #1- Anyway, sorry about that. What were we talking about?

Cell phone customer #2- I don't know.. Did you turn your phone off or something?

Cell phone Customer #1- No. Why?

Cell phone customer #2- 'Cause when I tried to call you back it just went straight to your voicemail.

Cell phone Customer #1- That's what happened to ME when I tried to call YOU!

Cell phone customer #2- No way!

Cell phone Customer #1- I swear to God!

Cell phone customer #2- Then I guess we must have been trying to call each other at the exact same time!

Cell phone Customer #1- That is so fucking WEIRD!

Cell phone customer #2- I know!

Cell phone Customer #1- Well, sorry about that. Fucking cell phones. Anyway, what were you about to say earlier whe-

Cell phone customer #2- Did you get my voicemail?
______________________

2.7 million years earlier

Australopithicus afarensis man #1- Then Gog see great mammoth in clearing, and raised giant rock over he-

Australopithicus afarensis man #2- What that?

Australopithicus afarensis man #1- Me not sure. What happened?

Australopithicus afarensis man #2- Me think fire went out again.

Australopithicus afarensis man #1- Man, that weird. Me was just talking, and me could see, then all of sudden, me could not see anymore!

Australopithicus afarensis man #2- Me know! Me was looking and listening at you, then you gone! Me can still hear you, but me cannot see you!

Australopithicus afarensis man #1- Me too! You must not prayed and sacrificed to great heat spirit again.

Australopithicus afarensis man #2- No! Me did! Me figured you not prayed!

Australopithicus afarensis man #1- No, me pray today when great heat spirit was above Gog's head.

Australopithicus afarensis man #2- Me pray when spirit was at treeline.

Australopithicus afarensis man #1- Fire weird.

Australopithicus afarensis man #2- Me know.