Thursday, May 10, 2007

Your eyes. Chapter One.

"You don't want to see this," your eyes say. This is the reason your eyes give for not allowing you to roll them back into the cavernous recesses of your skull. "You wouldn't want to see what's back here."

Your eyes have become quite presumptuous of late.

Your eyes say, "Look over here," and so you do. They ask if you would like to see something unimaginable, and you nod in affirmation. You realize the question is merely a courtesy, since you have no control over where they direct your vision, anyhow.

Presently, they are showing you a dusty keyboard covered in a thin layer of dog hair (likely a short-haired breed), red clay dirt, and old rice. You assume the keyboard is attached to an ancient computer from days past and an overweight, yawning monitor, bearing forgotten images of spreadsheets and outdated resumes forever on its unlit screen, together with a ceaselessly blinking rectangle of lime green light in the top left corner. But, it is impossible to be sure at this moment, since your eyes are insistent on keenly noting every detail of the keyboard.

Your eyes ask if you remember the password, but, before even waiting for an answer, quickly rattle back and forth from left to right, as if shrugging off a dumb question, sighing. This unexpected motion leaves you momentarily dizzy as the keyboard swims back into focus.

"I'll just do it," your eyes say.

Sometimes at night you are awoken by your eyes' movement inside your head, their chaotic rustling and shuffling jarring you from peaceful rest. You attempt to look in on them- not to reprimand, but simply to get an idea of just what it is they are doing. This never works. Your eyes force the lids back down over themselves and wait, still and silent, until the rest of your body falls instinctually back to sleep.

Other nights, you awake to an inky darkness unlike any you have ever experienced. Your eyes are immeasurably quiet, and, although you know what has happened, it takes your reaching up with tired hands to touch the gaping sockets before you are roused out of slumber enough to realize that your eyes are gone again. Each time this occurs you are at once frightened and furious, and you bound out of bed with vast intent, until you realize the futility of beginning a frenzied manhunt for your eyes without the aid of the eyes themselves. It is a delicate, confusing situation that causes much angst.

Defeated, you sink back into bed and either stare at the ceiling or close your eyelids over that which is not there. You are not sure. You clutch a sweaty pillow and wait for sleep, for your eyes.


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Kamp, said Uncle Billy, pouncing on the money.. The dream presentations consist chiefly, if not wholly, of scenes and mainly of visual sense images.. Society, of course, he saw little. He had already fatigued himself, he had explained, and his mother had favored him with a significant look.. The desires which are realized in these dreams are left over from the day or, as a rule, the day previous, and the feeling has become intently emphasized and fixed during the day thoughts.. It is quite annoying to be called on so frequently for these petty sums, Really, I-- The Major searched his pockets.. But as the vomiting might spoil the patient's figure and beauty, so that she would not find favor in the eyes of mankind, the symptom was therefore in keeping with her punitive trend of thought, and, being thus admissible from both sides, it was allowed to become a reality. He stepped nearer to a small picture which particularly took his fancy in order to see the name of the artist, which, however, was quite unknown to him.. The two girls settled themselves noisily on the upper step.. Personally, he rather admired Ellsworth.. The automatic control of the primary principle of pain and the restriction of mental capacity connected with it are broken by the sensible regulations, which in their turn are again automatisms.. The motives for this part of the dream work are easily gauged.. Hargraves, said the Major, who had remained standing, you have put upon me an unpardonable insult.. The first duty of a mother is to her children, repeated Mrs.. The scene is where Colonel Calhoun entertains a few of the neighboring planters in his den.. It was even hinted that the case was the revengeful and preposterous outcome of the refusal of Hotchkiss to pay Starbottle an extravagant fee for his late services to the Ditch Company. Watkinson, said to her, Mamma, please to whip me.. It is probable that the principle of pain first regulates the displacements of occupation automatically, but it is quite possible that the consciousness of these qualities adds a second and more subtle regulation which may even oppose the first and perfect the working capacity of the apparatus by placing it in a position contrary to its original design for occupying and developing even that which is connected with the liberation of pain.. Thirty-four's on one side o' the street an' thirty-five on t'other.. I mean--this matter may be arranged--er--amicably.

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