Thursday, May 10, 2007

Your eyes. Chapter One.

"You don't want to see this," your eyes say. This is the reason your eyes give for not allowing you to roll them back into the cavernous recesses of your skull. "You wouldn't want to see what's back here."

Your eyes have become quite presumptuous of late.

Your eyes say, "Look over here," and so you do. They ask if you would like to see something unimaginable, and you nod in affirmation. You realize the question is merely a courtesy, since you have no control over where they direct your vision, anyhow.

Presently, they are showing you a dusty keyboard covered in a thin layer of dog hair (likely a short-haired breed), red clay dirt, and old rice. You assume the keyboard is attached to an ancient computer from days past and an overweight, yawning monitor, bearing forgotten images of spreadsheets and outdated resumes forever on its unlit screen, together with a ceaselessly blinking rectangle of lime green light in the top left corner. But, it is impossible to be sure at this moment, since your eyes are insistent on keenly noting every detail of the keyboard.

Your eyes ask if you remember the password, but, before even waiting for an answer, quickly rattle back and forth from left to right, as if shrugging off a dumb question, sighing. This unexpected motion leaves you momentarily dizzy as the keyboard swims back into focus.

"I'll just do it," your eyes say.

Sometimes at night you are awoken by your eyes' movement inside your head, their chaotic rustling and shuffling jarring you from peaceful rest. You attempt to look in on them- not to reprimand, but simply to get an idea of just what it is they are doing. This never works. Your eyes force the lids back down over themselves and wait, still and silent, until the rest of your body falls instinctually back to sleep.

Other nights, you awake to an inky darkness unlike any you have ever experienced. Your eyes are immeasurably quiet, and, although you know what has happened, it takes your reaching up with tired hands to touch the gaping sockets before you are roused out of slumber enough to realize that your eyes are gone again. Each time this occurs you are at once frightened and furious, and you bound out of bed with vast intent, until you realize the futility of beginning a frenzied manhunt for your eyes without the aid of the eyes themselves. It is a delicate, confusing situation that causes much angst.

Defeated, you sink back into bed and either stare at the ceiling or close your eyelids over that which is not there. You are not sure. You clutch a sweaty pillow and wait for sleep, for your eyes.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Kamp, said http://startso11.info/Turcja+Forum.html Uncle Billy, pouncing on the money.. The dream presentations consist chiefly, if not wholly, of scenes and mainly of http://rebestal.info/biuro+podr%C3%B3%C5%BCy+oasis.html visual sense images.. Society, of course, he saw little. http://startso11.info/doherty+nago.html. He had already fatigued himself, he had explained, and his mother had http://startso11.info/godsend.html favored him with a significant look.. The desires which are realized in these dreams are left over from the day or, as a rule, the day previous, and the feeling http://startso11.info/kidsex.html has become intently emphasized and fixed during the day thoughts.. It is quite annoying to be called on so frequently for these petty sums, Really, I-- The Major searched his http://storyah44.info/pogoda+bla+rybakow.html pockets.. But as the vomiting might spoil the patient's figure and beauty, so that she would not find favor in the eyes of mankind, the symptom was therefore in keeping with her punitive trend of thought, and, being thus admissible from both sides, it was allowed to become a reality. http://startso11.info/gw.shands.ufl.edu.html. He stepped nearer to a small picture which particularly took his fancy in order to see the name of http://startso11.info/anse+yachts.html the artist, which, however, was quite unknown to him.. The two girls settled http://rebestal.info/ctr.html themselves noisily on the upper step.. Personally, he rather admired http://startso11.info/fontanna+z+czekolady.html Ellsworth.. The automatic control of the primary principle of pain and the restriction of mental capacity connected with it are broken by the http://startso11.info/www.mks.html sensible regulations, which in their turn are again automatisms.. The motives for this part of the dream work are http://wowyesaf.info/s%C5%82ownik++angielski.html easily gauged.. Hargraves, said the Major, who http://startso11.info/backgammon.html had remained standing, you have put upon me an unpardonable insult.. The first duty of a mother is to her children, http://startso11.info/www.wodzis%C5%82aw.pl+www.wodzislaw.pl.html repeated Mrs.. The scene is where Colonel Calhoun entertains http://startso11.info/almi+decor.html a few of the neighboring planters in his den.. It was even hinted that the case was the revengeful and preposterous outcome of the refusal of Hotchkiss to pay Starbottle an extravagant fee for his late services to the Ditch Company. http://storyah44.info/przygarne+kota.html. Watkinson, said to her, http://startso11.info/morski+oddzia%C5%82+stra%C5%BCy+granicznej.html Mamma, please to whip me.. It is probable that the principle of pain first regulates the displacements of occupation automatically, but it is quite possible http://rebestal.info/romuald+cie%C5%9Blak.html that the consciousness of these qualities adds a second and more subtle regulation which may even oppose the first and perfect the working capacity of the apparatus by placing it in a position contrary to its original design for occupying and developing even that which is connected with the liberation of pain.. Thirty-four's on one side o' the street an' thirty-five on http://storyah44.info/pracuj.html t'other.. I mean--this matter may be arranged--er--amicably. http://rebestal.info/data+pocz+%C4%99cia.html..

Anonymous said...

I had one day explained to her that the dream is a wish http://startso11.info/www.jantarspa..html of fulfillment.. From the theory of hysteria we borrow the proposition that such an abnormal psychic elaboration of a normal train of thought takes place only when the latter has been used for the transference of an http://startso11.info/extend%3B+lease.html unconscious wish which dates from the infantile life and is in a state of repression.. The hours were not enough for the wild romances which I http://storyah44.info/playboy.html raved in her ear.. I positively http://startso11.info/darmowe+aplikacje+do+mda.html decline to overlook it, sir.. With a sad little smile Miss Lydia watched him button his Father Hubbard http://rebestal.info/salony+idea.html and depart, pausing at the door, as he always did, to bow profoundly.. I could 'a' got more! Now where can we make ourselves comfortable with this furniture? Uncle Billy http://wowyesaf.info/rega%C5%82y+p%C3%B3%C5%82kowe.html chirked up.. Nobody stopped http://startso11.info/owczrek+kaukaski.html to converse with him.. The fulfillment of these wishes would no longer produce an affect of pleasure but one of pain; and it is just this transformation of affect that constitutes the nature of what we designate as repression, in which we recognize the http://startso11.info/tanie+kwatery+na+mazurach.html infantile first step of passing adverse sentence or of rejecting through reason.. We may succeed in provisionally terminating the sum of http://startso11.info/www.minoan.html energy of our waking thoughts by deciding to go to sleep.. He could appreciate that this was a http://rebestal.info/butelki+w+Opolu.html characteristic woman trick, and wondered admiringly whether Evelyn or her mother had thought of it.. Certainly I have heard of few men more beloved, and of none more worthy to http://startso11.info/przeci%C4%85garka.html be loved.. [4] Symbol http://startso11.info/kszta%C5%82ty+fiur+geometrycznych.html of coitus.. This he provisioned with a jug of http://startso11.info/top+trendy+-+rubik.html water, a starch box full of white corn-meal, and a wide strip of lean razorback bacon.. The dream has no greater claim to meaning and importance than the sound called forth by the ten fingers of a person quite unacquainted with music running his fingers over the keys of an instrument. http://rebestal.info/cz%C4%99%C5%9Bci+agd.html. This force imparts to the dream that influence which we have designated as secondary elaboration for the http://startso11.info/WWW.MORDEA.PL.html sake of connection and comprehensibility.. She was once in a great hurry to get tickets in time for a piece, and when she came to the theater one http://startso11.info/%C5%9Blaz+dziki.html side of the stalls was almost empty.. The last impression he had received before coming to me http://startso11.info/www.gosia-andrzejewicz.pl.html was visually revived in his memory.. The encouragement which he supposed himself to have received, threw down the barrier which his extreme bashfulness would have interposed between himself and any one who possessed charms enough to attract him; and we must excuse him if, in such a case, he did not criticise the mode of encouragement, but rather grasped eagerly the proffered good without a scruple, or one which he would own to himself, as to the http://startso11.info/wydawnictwo+jarmark.html propriety with which it was tendered.. It has already been emphasized by Dugas that Goblet was forced to repudiate many facts in http://startso11.info/mayrhofen.html order to generalize his theory.. The driver replied that he had just come for two ladies http://startso11.info/na+stopy+plastry.html and a gentleman whom he had brought from the Astor House...

Anonymous said...

Prettу nicе poѕt. I just stumblеd uρon your blοg and wаnteԁ tο sаy that I've really enjoyed browsing your blog posts. After all I'll be
subscrіbіng tο your rss feed anԁ Ι
hοpe you write agaіn ѕoοn!


Hеre іs mу sitе ... green coffee extract

Anonymous said...

I useԁ tо bе recommended this website vіa my cousin.
I аm now not surе whether this publish is written by
mеans οf him as nοbody еlse recognise such ρrecise approximаtelу my
trouble. You're wonderful! Thanks!

My page - green coffee bean max with chlorogenic acid